Saturday, March 2, 2013

RuPaul's Drag Race: S5, E3: I wish you WOULD grow up!

Gonna fly through this, since I am horrendously behind.

Mini Challenge:
Creating the boy-toys into pageant girls.  Order is how I'd rate them.

Alaska and Lineysha - Lil' Pound Cake
Was there any doubt that this was going to win?  "You're not my real dad and never will be!" sealed the deal.  And this was all Alaska - her prep moments with the doll were hilarious, and carried over into the presentation.  Lineysha was just kind of along for the ride (although her contribution to the actual dress might have been edited out).

Detox and Roxxxy - Vaxeline Androxxx Zoe
Not so much for the outfit (which I would say was only marginally better than the bottom duo), but for the presentation by Detox as Rachel Zoe.  "Because I am Rachel Zoe, we allow that," - Although I did get more Paris Hilton than Rachel Zoe.

Jinkx and Jade - Tina Lou Devereaux
Third best outfit, and third best presentation.  Jinkx's use of 'Murica had me rolling.  I kind of can't wait to see how she does in the 'reading' mini-challenge (which I hope she makes).

Ivy and Vivienne - Watermelon Sunshine
Second best outfit (behind Lil' Pound Cake), and nice details in the presentation, but overshadowed by the above three.  Ivy was 10 types of adorable while moving Watermelon down the runway though.

Alyssa and Honey - Savannah Lee
Kind of sad.  I couldn't tell if Alyssa was being satirical in her reading or if she was serious, and the outfit isn't so great (albeit, better than Detox and Roxxxy's)

Coco and Beverly - Patty Park Place
Easily the worst of the outfit, and Coco cared more about throwing shade during the presentation than she did about making it funny.  She should be glad that this was only a mini-challenge.

Main Challenge:
Doing a children's show, drag-style.  As challenge winners, Lineysha and Alaska got to pick the groups.

Now, I am going to refer to the teams by the hosts (Alaska and Jinkx) and break them down by what I thought were the best without breaking it up and doing the teams individually (does that make sense?  Sure hope so!).  I will go ahead and say that Alaska and Jinkx Monsoon were both easily the best of their respective teams, although I do not mind the eventual winner.

Team Alaska's Word of the Day
By far the best.  It helped that two of the stronger queens were in it.  Alaska got some grief for doing male drag, but I thought Ru and Michelle would have appreciated the obvious Pee Wee reference and gone with it.  Detox was a hoot, and really sold the character best of all the non-host participants.

Team Alaska's Educational Programming
Didn't work quite as well as the prior section, but still strong nonetheless.  Roxxxy was fun as Tasha Salad, and maybe should have been given more of the punchlines, as Vivienne was more of the straight-woman for this segment (a fact that Ru got onto her for, which I disagreed with - If everyone is a big character, you start to lose impact).

Team Jinkx's Educational Programming
Considering how terrible Lineysha was, I'm surprised I would put this as high as I have, but I think that speaks to the problem of the others.  Ivy was selling it (LOVED the outfit), but Lineysha just translated and nothing else.  There was no character there.

Team Jinkx's Word of the Day
The reason I give the edge to Alaska over Jinkx as host is that Alaska didn't completely blow up a segment.  By announcing the word of the day before Jade got out there, it forced Jade to improvise, which wasn't really her strong suit.  They came up with a few decent lines, but they never recovered from the screw-up at the start.

Team Alaska's Social Lesson
I give credit to Alyssa for not being bothered about being picked last, and for (wo)manning up and playing the part she didn't want to do.  If only it hadn't been in a scene with Monica, who couldn't get it together.  Part of me wonders if she has dyslexia or something similar given her troubles with lines even though they were in front of her.  Still, it hurt the scene tremendously.

Team Jinkx's Social Lesson
This.  Was.  Painful.  Coco wasn't in it even a little bit, and Honey lacks the personality to have saved it.  It wasn't even painfully funny, it was just uncomfortable to watch.

The Runway:
Order is how I'd rate their runway looks, without factoring in the main challenge.  The theme was "Pretty in Pink"

Loved this outfit.  It was kind of barely-pink, but the neckpiece mixed with the mesh and body worked really well.

Wedding dress with a pink gun and pink blood-splatter?  Love it for the camp value alone.  The messy hair adds to the affect, and the outfit tells a macabre story.

Jinkx Monsoon
Nice meld of Glamour and Camp.  She's making me a believer as far as her contender status is concerned.  But she reminds me too much of Pandora Boxx, and I think she will meet the same downfall.

Alyssa Edwards
Very nice look, and she wasn't quite as weird on the runway this time.  Wish she had added some other color to the look though, as it comes across as matchy-matchy.

Ivy Winters
If only more of the showgirl looks had this type of polish.  However, it does come across as somewhat generic, especially when you compare it to her other looks.  Impressive tuck though.

Roxxxy Andrews
A nice look, but somewhat lacking in pizazz.  Something seems off about the makeup also, although I can't articulate what.

Monica Beverly Hillz
I actually really liked this look, I just thought it lacked a bit of polish.

Vivienne Pinay
This was fine, if lacking in pizazz (much like Roxxxy).

Jade Jolie
Did not care for this look at all.  Jade does a nice job of switching it up on the runway (the main reason I think she has avoided being in the bottom), but this looked ill-fitting and heavy.

Coco Montrese
What was she thinking?  This outfit made her look much older than she actually is, and isn't even that good to begin with.  It ended up working for her in the lip sync (which is why I think she wore this), but damn was it a bad choice.

Lineysha Sparx
This looked hand-crafted... in a bad way.  Maybe she didn't have anything else?  Not a good week for Lineysha by any stretch.

Honey Mahogany
I wonder how she avoided the bottom.  Between the terrible performance in the Kid show and the fact she wore a bedsheet on the runway, she should have been lip syncing.  And not against Monica.

My Top 3:  Alaska, Jinkx, Detox
Ru's Top 3:  Detox, Jinkx, Roxxxy
My Bottom 3:  Monica Beverly Hillz, Coco Montrese, Honey Mahogany
Ru's Bottom 3:  Vivienne Pinay, Coco Montrese, Monica Beverly Hillz
Lip Sync Song:  "I Want to Grow Up" by the Pussycat Dolls
Result:  Monica Beverly Hillz is sent packing, and Coco gets a much-deserved dressing down.  I think Ru put Vivienne in the bottom 3 over the more deserving Honey and Jade to snap her out of her complacency.

How I'd Rank the Remaining Queens:
1)  Detox - I still think this is hers to lose.
2)  Alaska - I think the reading about boy drag was more to get her more into the game, since she obviously has smarts to go far.
3)  Ivy Winters - Faded into the back a bit this week, but no one aside from Nina Flowers has managed to be in the top for every single challenge.
4)  Jinkx Monsoon - I'm starting to buy the Kool-Aide, but I still have reservations about a Camp Queen making it too the end.  We'll see how she handles the inevitable "I need more glamor!" from Michelle and Santino
5)  Roxxxy Andrews - I think it is noteworthy that RuPaul put her in the top group despite her lack of wow on the runway.
6)  Alyssa Edwards - Showed she is willing to play the unglamorous parts if she has too, and her runway is improving.
7)  Coco Montrese - Quite a tumble, will she recover?  A very bad week for her.
8)  Lineysha Sparx - But not as bad as Lineysha.  Totally bombed the challenge, and we know more performance-heavy challenges are coming.
9)  Vivienne Pinay - Hopefully being in the bottom will be a wake-up call for her to step up her game.
10)  Jade Jolie - Eventually, Ru will notice she isn't bringing anything to the challenges or the runway.
11)  Honey Mahogany - Go out in a bedsheet again.... I dare you.  Tick-tock, Honey.

What's that?

Oh Ivy, I need to catch up to the current episode!  Please don't be upset, I still think you are the bee's knees AND the cat's pajamas.  I will give you more love once I make it to the Snatch Game episode, I promise.

There's that smile!  Until next time!

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